a girl on a bench

i lay numb in my loss
paralyzed in my nothingness
it was not that i didn’t love me, because i did
it was not that he didn’t love me, because he did
it just wasn’t enough
it wasn’t random i love you’s
it wasn’t warmth in my wounds
it wasn’t waking mornings with his eyes laying over me
it was a lot of things that were wonderful, but it wasn’t enough
and how numb i felt to love someone enough who was not enough